dreams are after all evil in someway.i've been dreaming alot a couple of nights.and for the first time in my life, i manage to remember some of it now.now more clearly and detailed. maybe all those thoughts b4 i close my eyes to sleep is the reason why i dream.its related in someway.the thoughts.the dreams.and somehow i will suddenly be awake when the dream went too happy or painful for me to take it.i will open my eyes slowly and i'll be staring at the walls on top of my room.eyes wide open with thoughts running around my head.haywired.its hard to go back to sleep after that.way too hard...

someone asked me a question early in the morning the other day. how can i live my life with uncertainty when theres a chance in the end that i wouldnt be with her? i went blank for a moment. she really got me thinking and awake from the lack of sleep i get that day.we have alot of similarities when it comes to this.i always got her back when shes in doubt and she always got mine.funny how it works.she was a stranger just a month ago.and im thankful we cross path in our life.

im proud of her.for what she become and change from last year.shes a new person now.more mentally strong and stands strong with her decision.someone who knows what she wants and thinks about her happiness for her future.

i already make my decision along time ago regarding the question that got me blank.im standing strong to it now.alhamdullilah.

making a decision isint as easy as it is.people make alot of mistakes when it come to decision making.its not just about what u feel and think its right, its also about "maintaining" / "living" with the decision YOU yourself decided. you cant go halfway and say i changed my mind. you will be in a mess.you cant see a decision u make as only advantages factor to you.in every decision, theres also disadvantages factors.For some people, they didnt see at first.or maybe for some they try to ignore it.avoid it.but they know.its a conscience thats in them but they will think its "bullshit"(sorry to use this word). Any decision made by any person, named it, presidents, kings etc theres good and bad.they(leaders) make decision not based on only giving an excellent solutions but based on making the least "disadvantage", the so called "ugly-side of the decision".

i learn that Happiness should be place above all other aspects when it came to decision making for me. Not jelousy nor hatred nor revenge.

You wouldnt get lost.trust me. (: